Bonjour,
If you're reading this, you are probably preparing for, or have just started, a great adventure in Paris. You're here for the culture, the food, the beauty — and maybe for a new chapter in your life. But as any seasoned expat will tell you, once the initial novelty of croissants and beautiful architecture wears off, something else starts to creep in. Culture shock. Confusion. Maybe even a profound sense of loneliness.
I'm Robert, a therapist based in Paris. I also used to be a teacher, and I've lived abroad since I was 21. I have seen the highs and lows of international student life from both sides of the couch. In this guide, I want to share some foundational advice for navigating the real, unglamorous, and essential parts of your transition so that you don't just survive here, but truly thrive.
Before you can thrive, you must first survive. Survival doesn't mean "barely making it." It means establishing the daily foundations that will keep you well enough to handle everything else. These are the non-negotiables.
Basic Self-Care: Nourishment, Sleep, and Routine
You're an adult now, or at least you're being treated like one, and one of the hardest parts of that transition is learning to care for yourself without anyone checking in. That means feeding yourself regularly, sleeping at reasonable hours, and creating a structure for your days.
If you're thinking, "I haven't quite nailed that yet," you're not alone. Routines don't come naturally to everyone, especially in a new country. If you notice yourself spiraling — skipping meals, staying up until 3 am — that's the moment to start looking for support. You don't have to get it perfect. You just have to notice when things aren't working and take small, gentle steps to rebalance.
This can feel awkward, but it's too important to ignore. I'll be honest with you: I didn't brush my teeth properly as a kid, and I didn't floss until I was in my 20s. I got sick a lot — throat infections, constant colds. Once I finally committed to a regular hygiene routine, all of that disappeared. If this is an area where you struggle, don't let shame stop you from improving. Start with small, doable changes. Your physical and mental health will thank you.
This isn't a holiday; this is your life for the next several months. Your home, even if it's a tiny dorm room, needs to be a space that supports you. It should be a place you actually want to come back to. This doesn't require expensive furniture, just a sense of order that gives your brain a break. A reasonably tidy environment and clean sheets can make a monumental difference to your mental state. Make a habit of resetting your space once a week.
Studying abroad can be amazing. It can also be incredibly stressful. One of the brain's sneakiest habits is normalising discomfort. Don't wait for your brain to shout, "I'm struggling!" Be proactive and look out for these signs:
Withdrawing from social contact
Significant changes in eating or sleeping patterns
Using alcohol or other substances to cope with stress
Being constantly on edge, unable to relax or slow down
Waking up with a sense of dread about the day ahead
If these things start creeping in, don't ignore them. Reach out. Most international student programs offer mental health support. A friend, a family member, or a therapist can be a lifeline.
Once your foundations are stable, you can start to engage with the city. Paris isn't just a backdrop; it's a living, breathing culture with its own unspoken rules.
This is the single biggest hurdle for most newcomers. In many English-speaking countries, smiling is the default social lubricant. You smile at the cashier, say "Hi, how are you?", and they say it back, even if neither of you means it.
That is not how it works in France.
In Paris, you say "Bonjour" and then you get on with your business. It is not rudeness; it is directness. Parisians reserve friendliness for when it is genuine. When you understand this, everything changes. You are freed from the performance of friendliness, and more importantly, when you do receive warmth from someone, you can trust that it is 100% real. It's not a transaction; it's a connection.
It's natural to form a community with other international students. That shared experience is comforting and important. Treasure it. But don't stop there. You are in France. Say yes to things outside your comfort zone. Go to events in French, even if you only understand half of what's being said. Join a local club or a language exchange. I know many people who had amazing study abroad experiences but left with one regret: "I wish I had gotten to know France better, not just the other international students."
Paris isn't rude; it's just different. If you can meet the city with curiosity instead of judgment and stay open when things feel unfamiliar, you will build connections and create memories that truly mean something. Give yourself time. Ask for help when you need it. And remember that it's normal to feel out of place at first. You are learning a new culture, not just a new language — and that takes patience.
If you'd like more support adjusting to life abroad, I offer therapy for international students and expats here in Paris. You can find my details and book a consultation on my website.
Take care, and welcome to France.
What happens when we step outside the culture we were raised in? Between Worlds: Reflections on Culture, Identity, and Living Abroad is a five-part series exploring how life abroad reshapes our sense of self, belonging, and how we relate to others.
If you've just returned from studying abroad, how are you? No, really. How are you doing?
What happens when we step outside the culture we were raised in? Between Worlds: Reflections on Culture, Identity, and Living Abroad is a five-part series exploring how life abroad reshapes our sense of self, belonging, and how we relate to others.