Will I Be Welcomed in France? A Therapist's Honest Answer.

"What will the French retirees think of me, a foreign senior? Why would she leave her home country at 65? Is she brave or crazy?"

This beautiful, vulnerable question was recently asked by a viewer of my channel, and it gets to the heart of the deepest anxiety that underpins any decision to move abroad. It's not about visas or bank accounts; it's about a fundamental human need: Will I be welcomed? Will I belong?

As an Australian therapist who has lived in Paris for years, my immediate answer is a complicated one: Yes, but...

The "yes" is real, and it is baked into the very bones of French culture. The "but" is about the unspoken conditions that govern that welcome. Let's explore both sides of the coin.

The "Yes": A Culture Built on Outsiders

France is a nation built on a bedrock of distinct regional identities and constant waves of immigration. The presence of outsiders is not a new or threatening phenomenon; it is an integral part of the country's history, and a source of national pride.

You can see it everywhere. Many of France's cultural icons have immigrant roots, from Serge Gainsbourg (the child of Ukrainian Jewish immigrants) to the rapper Gims (Congolese). The nation's greatest hero, Napoleon Bonaparte, was a Corsican outsider with a strange accent who came to Paris with almost nothing and saved the Revolution. There is a deep, romantic affection here for the outsider who takes a great gamble on destiny and succeeds.

This brings me to the question of being seen as "brave or crazy." The wonderful truth is that in France, these two things are often seen as one and the same—and they are deeply admired. This is a culture that loves a big swing, an audacious gesture. So, if a French person looks at you and says, "You are completely crazy for moving here at your age," you should know that they are almost certainly paying you a compliment.

The "But": The Conditions of Welcome

The welcome in France is real, but it is not unconditional. There is an unspoken rubric for what makes a "good" immigrant in the eyes of the French, and it has less to do with your country of origin and more to do with your actions once you are here.

1. The Expectation of Contribution

France is a country with a strong social contract. Being seen as a contributing member of society—by working, paying taxes, and participating—is important. This doesn't mean retirees are unwelcome; in fact, the French have a profound respect for retirement as the earned reward for a life of contribution. The principle is about adding to the life of the country, not just taking from it.

2. The Expectation of Adaptation

This is the most crucial part. French culture places an immense value on relationships and social codes, and you are expected to learn them.

• The Language: A person's effort to learn French is seen as a direct indicator of their respect for the culture. You don't have to be perfect—the effort is what matters most—but a refusal to learn will be seen as a sign of disrespect.

• The Social Codes: Relationships in France are deep, and conflict is often handled with a focus on preserving the relationship. Navigating this requires a subtlety and an understanding that can be a challenge for newcomers. As the immigrant, the unspoken expectation is that it is your job to adapt and build a bridge of mutual understanding

A Final Thought: It's Not About Becoming French

Here is the good news: all of these conditions are within your control. Your welcome in France is not determined by the status you had in your home country, but by the effort you make when you arrive.

The goal isn't to "become French." You are not expected to erase your own identity. In fact, your status as an outsider will often be a source of interest and affection. The real question is: Are you showing up authentically, and are you making a genuine effort to be part of the world you have chosen to join?

If the answer is yes, then welcome to France. You're going to have a great time.