Why Is Paris So Hard for Expats? A Therapist’s Honest Take on the City of Light

Every year, the Internations "Expat City Ranking" report is released, and for years, a pattern has emerged: Paris consistently ranks near the bottom of the list for livability. In 2023, it was 49th out of 49 cities.

As an Australian therapist who has lived and worked in Paris since 2021, and who previously spent over a decade in Singapore — often ranked as one of the best cities for expats — this dichotomy is something I've experienced firsthand.

Is Paris really that difficult? Yes, in many ways, it is. But the reasons are more complex and nuanced than a simple ranking can ever convey. This isn't just a list of complaints; it's an honest, therapist's-eye-view of the real challenges of living here, and how navigating them can be a profound, if sometimes painful, journey of growth.

1. The Economic Reality: Housing, Salaries, and the High Cost of Living

Let's start with the most concrete challenge. Paris is one of the most expensive cities in the world. The report found that 71% of expats find housing here unaffordable. Combine that with salaries that are often lower than in other global hubs, and you have a recipe for financial stress.

The Parisian rental market is notoriously difficult. Finding an apartment can take months, and landlords are incredibly selective, prioritizing candidates with stable, long-term French employment contracts. This leaves many newcomers in a precarious position, often relying on less secure private rentals or Airbnbs.

The Counter-Narrative: And yet, it is possible to live an affordable and rich life here. While a coffee in a tourist district might be €7, I do my grocery shopping at a local market for about €40 a week. Public transport is excellent and affordable, and cultural activities — from unlimited cinema passes to my own acting classes — are often surprisingly inexpensive. The secret is to live like a local, not a tourist.

2. The Language Barrier: More Than Just Grammar

The report is clear: you need to speak French to live comfortably in Paris. As a tourist, you can get by with English. As a resident, everything changes. Not speaking the language will put you at a significant disadvantage every single day.

But the difficulty isn't just the language itself (which is structurally quite similar to English). It's twofold:

• The Teaching Style: Many language schools in France are notoriously old-fashioned, focusing heavily on punitive grammar drills rather than real-world communication. I spent a week in one class mastering the subjunctive tense, only to realize I still couldn't confidently order a steak at the butcher. The main lesson many students take away is that they are "bad at French."

• The Parisian Switch: In a phenomenon that drives learners mad, many Parisians will switch to English the moment they detect an accent. This is rarely meant to be rude; it's usually an attempt to be efficient and helpful. My own strategy was to simply continue speaking French, creating a parallel conversation where we both got to practice our second languages. It's awkward, but it works.

3. The Labyrinth: Navigating French Bureaucracy

The French administration is famously, almost comically, labyrinthine. It is Kafka-esque, and everyone — including the French themselves — suffers. The paperwork is endless, the processes lack clarity, and every simple task feels overly complicated.

I have spent countless hours battling with this system. The single thing that made the biggest difference was when my French improved enough to build human rapport. Now, my strategy is always to go in person, explain the problem clearly, and take a moment to be charming and build a connection. More often than not, after the ice is broken, the person behind the desk will suddenly find a way to help me.

4. The Social Code: Are Parisians Really Unfriendly?

This is the biggest and most emotionally charged hurdle for many. The report found that 36% of expats describe locals as unfriendly. My experience is different, but I understand the perception. It comes down to a fundamental cultural misunderstanding.

In most Anglophone cultures, we practice a kind of performative politeness. We smile at strangers, we ask cashiers "How are you?", we engage in friendly chit-chat. It's a social lubricant.

Parisians do not do this. Their interactions are often transactional. Bonjour, you state your business, merci, au revoir. It's not rudeness; it's a cultural honesty that reserves friendliness for when it is genuine.

At first, this can feel cold, even hostile. But once you understand the code, it is incredibly liberating. It means there's no pressure for you to perform, either. More importantly, when a Parisian is warm and open with you, you can trust that it is 100% real. It's not a social script; it's an authentic connection. A Japanese person once told me, "Europeans are cold on the outside but warm on the inside." That has been my experience of Paris. The warmth here is real, but it has to be earned.

A Final Thought: A City That Asks More of You

Paris is not a city that makes life easy for outsiders. It demands an effort. It asks you to learn its language, to understand its codes, and to navigate its complexities with patience and resilience. It is a city that you move to for the love of the lifestyle, not to make money.

But perhaps that's the point. The very things that make Paris a difficult city to live in are also what make living here such a profound experience. It challenges you, it forces you to adapt, and in doing so, it helps you grow into a more resilient, resourceful, and culturally aware version of yourself. And that, I believe, is a gift.