The Messy Middle: A Midway Check-In for Students Adjusting to Life in Paris

Bonjour,

How's it going — really?

Are you still in love with the daily croissant, or are you starting to notice the unique smell of the métro on a hot afternoon? Whether you're thriving, struggling, or living somewhere in the messy, complicated middle, this is for you.

When you're a few weeks or months into your time abroad, the initial adrenaline wears off. The reality of daily life sets in, and with it can come a wave of unexpected challenges. Consider this your midway check-in. It's a chance to pause, reflect, and get your bearings so you can make the most of the rest of your time here.

Part 1: Back to Basics – A Quick Survival Audit

Before we dive into the deep end, let's revisit the foundations. In a new and stimulating environment, it's incredibly easy to let the basics slide.

• How are your routines? Are you sleeping enough? Are you eating regularly? That bedrock of self-care is the first thing to wobble when we're feeling overwhelmed. If your daily rhythm feels out of balance, make it a priority to gently bring it back. You don't have to be perfect, but you do have to be present. Don't wait for burnout to become a crisis.

• How is university life? For many, the French academic system, with its emphasis on student independence, can be a shock. If you've been stepping up your game and it's paying off, that's fantastic. But if you feel like you're putting in the effort and still hitting a wall of bureaucratic confusion, you are not alone. That frustration is real. Lean on classmates for their strategies, search for alternative organizational tools online, and don't be ashamed to ask for help from the administration or your school's mental health services. As an adult, the first step to receiving help is almost always to ask for it.

Part 2: Navigating the Messy Middle

Once your foundations are more or less stable, we can talk about the more complex emotional currents of life abroad.

When the Fantasy of Paris Fades

When you decide to study in Paris, you don't just move to one city; you move to two.

The first is the Paris of your imagination — the cinematic city of romance and beauty. The second is the real city — the one with crushing bureaucracy, moments of profound loneliness, and where life is just, well, life.

A few months in, these two cities will inevitably collide. The collision often creates a quiet, often unspoken grief for the fantasy you have to let go of. It can feel like failure. You might think, "Everyone else is having an amazing time, what's wrong with me?"

The truth is, this disillusionment is not a sign that you are failing. It is a sign that your real journey is just beginning. When you have the courage to grieve the fantasy, a messier, more complicated, and infinitely more meaningful relationship with a real city can be born.

Keeping an Open Mind (Even When You're Frustrated)

The daily friction of cultural differences can be wearing. What feels like rudeness or hostility is, most of the time, just a cultural mismatch. Try to intervene with a thought like, "I don't understand what's going on here, but I will try to stay curious." An open mind is not an easy thing to maintain, so give yourself credit for even trying.

That said, your experience is your truth. This brings me to an important point.

On Racism, Validation, and Personal Truth

Let me be clear: France has real and shocking issues with racism and other forms of prejudice. If you have experienced this, your experience is valid. It is true. Do not let anyone — classmate or otherwise — invalidate that truth simply because their experience has been different. Label it, own it, and do not sugarcoat it. And if the people around you can't believe or support you, seek out others who can.

The Power of Your Sanctuary

This is why having a safe space is non-negotiable. Your room, a quiet corner of a library, a favourite park bench — you need a place where you can feel grounded, reset, and digest the intensity of life here. Find that sanctuary and use it. It's the emotional home base that will give you the resilience to venture out into the beautiful, challenging world beyond your door.

A Final Thought: You're Probably Doing Better Than You Think

Wherever you are right now — thriving, struggling, or somewhere in between — you are likely doing better than you think. Adjusting to life in a new country is no small thing. There is no perfect pace and no gold medal for who does it fastest.

The fact that you are reflecting, trying, and showing up at all is something to be proud of. Keep going. I'm rooting for you.