If you've just returned from studying abroad, how are you? No, really. How are you doing?

If settling back into "normal life" has been a surprisingly bumpy ride, I can promise you, you are not alone. There's a common saying in expat communities: it is often easier to move to a new country than it is to go back home. We call it re-entry, and it can be a lonely, disorienting, and unexpectedly painful process.

Even six months away can change you in ways that make coming home feel strange and destabilizing. If that's you, this guide is for you. It's about what's really happening inside you, and how you can navigate it with compassion.

1. First, Let's Call It What It Is: Grief.

The first thing to understand is that you are likely grieving the loss of the life you had abroad. The friends, the novelty, the daily challenges, the person you became in that new environment — that chapter is over, and it's okay for that to hurt.

Grief has no timeline. It comes and goes in waves, and it doesn't respond to logic. But you are not powerless in the face of it. The sadness you feel is a direct measure of how much your experience mattered. Missing it is a way of honoring it.

A Gentle Practice: Instead of pushing the sadness away, try to make space for it. Look through old photos. Journal about what you miss. Talk with the friends you made. And as you do, allow for messy, contradictory feelings to surface. You might feel sad and relieved at the same time. Proud and resentful. Grateful and avoidant. This is the normal emotional weather of a major life transition. Your system is recalibrating.

2. Welcome to Reverse Culture Shock

This is the one that surprises everyone. You expect culture shock when you arrive in a foreign country. You do not expect to experience it when you get back home. But it is a very real phenomenon.

You have changed. Your perspectives have shifted. And you have returned to a world that, for the most part, has stayed the same. The things you used to love might not feel as compelling. You may be looking at your old life with new, critical eyes.

The poet T.S. Eliot wrote, "the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time."

We often quote this as a piece of positive wisdom, but the reality can be tough. Sometimes, "knowing the place for the first time" doesn't feel like a beautiful discovery. It feels like a painful disillusionment. This awkward, out-of-sync feeling doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. It means you are in the process of integrating a huge amount of life experience. Naming this growth — by journaling or talking with someone who gets it — can help it feel real and manageable.

3. The Loneliness of Being Changed

Don't be surprised if loneliness hits you hard in this period, even if you are surrounded by loving friends and family. The disconnection you feel is often because you've become a more internationally-minded person, and your old community might not have the language or context to understand that.

When you try to share stories of your time away, you might be met with blank stares, polite disinterest, or even a subtle sense of resistance from people who feel threatened by your new perspective.

This hurts, but it doesn't mean you've done something wrong. It means your tribe might be expanding. Now is the time to seek out a new community of other globally-minded people — through international meetups, alumni groups, or online communities. You need to find the people who speak your new language.

At the same time, you can begin to ground yourself in your home environment by living as the new person you are. Join a local group, volunteer, take a class. Start building a new life, right where you are.

A Final Thought: This is a Beginning, Not an Ending

The grief you feel is a sign that something has ended, but every ending is also a beginning. You now have a precious opportunity to reimagine your life, based on everything you've learned.

Re-entry doesn't mean going back to the old version of you. It means intentionally building on the new one you've become. Start small. Pick one thing you valued about your "abroad self" — your curiosity, your confidence with strangers, your willingness to try new things — and consciously make it a part of your daily life back home.

The more you do that, the more you will realize that "home" is not a static place you return to. It is something you redefine, again and again, as you grow.

If you are finding the re-entry process particularly difficult and feel you could benefit from a dedicated space to work through it, I offer therapy sessions specifically for expats and students navigating these complex transitions. You can find my details and book a consultation on my website.