What happens when we step outside the culture we were raised in? Between Worlds: Reflections on Culture, Identity, and Living Abroad is a five-part series exploring how life abroad reshapes our sense of self, belonging, and how we relate to others.
Welcome to the second post of this five part series.
Part one: The Culture We Carry: How Our Inner Worlds Shape Life Abroad
Living abroad reshapes many aspects of our identity, but perhaps none more so than masculinity. When you're outside the culture that raised you, its expectations and assumptions about manhood come into sharper relief. Suddenly, you're no longer being measured against the familiar standards of strength, stoicism, or success. You find yourself in unfamiliar terrain, navigating different social cues, gender dynamics, and ways of being a man.
For me, it began with small things. Realising that the assertiveness I had been taught to admire could be seen as arrogance. That emotional restraint might not read as maturity but rather as distance. That asking for help or expressing vulnerability was not only allowed, but often expected. In a new cultural context, I found space to question the parts of masculinity I had once thought were non-negotiable.
Living in France challenged my assumptions about what makes a man respectable, attractive, or trustworthy. It gave me a front-row seat to different models of masculinity: men who were stylish without irony, expressive without shame, nurturing without apology. It didn't always feel comfortable. At times, it brought up resistance, even embarrassment. But over time, it opened a door to something more spacious: a masculinity rooted in self-awareness rather than self-protection.
As a therapist, I see this play out with other men, too. Men who moved abroad for work, for love, or for adventure, only to find that their inner frameworks of masculinity were no longer working the way they used to. Sometimes, this comes as a quiet sense of confusion or disconnection. Other times, it's more acute: relationship tension, burnout, or isolation. Living in another culture doesn't erase these issues, but it can illuminate them in new ways.
Write a letter to your younger self. Reflect on what you've learned about masculinity through your experiences abroad. Share what you wish he had known. You don't need to send it anywhere. The aim is to bring compassion and clarity to the evolving story of who you are becoming.
What happens when pride and shame collide in our cultural identity? In Part 3, The Pride We Carry — Belonging, Shame, and Cultural Identity, I explore how living abroad reshapes our sense of belonging — and how we can reclaim what matters most.
About this series: Between Worlds: Reflections on Culture, Identity, and Living Abroad is a five-part blog series exploring the often-unseen emotional and psychological layers of life between cultures. Drawing from my own experiences living abroad and working as a therapist with international clients, these posts explore how identity, communication, belonging, and values shift when we step outside the familiar. Each piece blends personal reflection with questions and exercises to help you explore your own journey — whether you're a seasoned expat, a newcomer, or simply curious about the complexities of cultural life.
What happens when we step outside the culture we were raised in? Between Worlds: Reflections on Culture, Identity, and Living Abroad is a five-part series exploring how life abroad reshapes our sense of self, belonging, and how we relate to others.
If you've just returned from studying abroad, how are you? No, really. How are you doing?
What happens when we step outside the culture we were raised in? Between Worlds: Reflections on Culture, Identity, and Living Abroad is a five-part series exploring how life abroad reshapes our sense of self, belonging, and how we relate to others.