"Don't you ever get bored, just listening to people's problems all day?"

There's a persistent idea, backed by a surprising amount of research, that our 30s are the most unhappy decade of our lives. As a therapist who has just come out the other side of my own, I want to talk about why that's probably true — and why that might also be completely okay.

There's a phenomenon that anyone who has lived abroad for a long time will recognize: the bitter expat.

As a therapist, I'm always interested in stories that explore the complexities of family, belonging, and the things we often leave unsaid. Recently, I watched How to Make Millions Before Grandma Dies. It's a 2024 Thai drama that left a deep impression on me, and judging by the tears in the cinema, I wasn't the only one.

Living abroad isn't just about a change of address. It's a profound psychological journey that fundamentally reshapes how you see yourself, relate to others, and move through the world. It's a process that goes far beyond the initial excitement of a new culture or the frustrations of bureaucracy.

If you know me, you'll know I'm not exactly the biggest fan of team sports. I've always preferred solo pursuits — yoga, running, the occasional hike where I get lost and discover some hidden corner of the world (or at least a really good boulangerie).

How long does it take to really settle in?"

Let's talk about something we rarely talk about directly: class. Not just in terms of income or occupation, but in how we feel about where we come from. Whether we feel pride in our roots — or carry hidden shame.

Every year, the Internations "Expat City Ranking" report is released, and for years, a pattern has emerged: Paris consistently ranks near the bottom of the list for livability. In 2023, it was 49th out of 49 cities.